Episode # 65Download
In this week’s episode of care giving for dementia, I discuss some of the frustrations that I find myself with taking care of Mama with her dementia. Some of the things that she does really frustrates me because their things that she taught me how to do. It’s the simple things that we all take for granted that she can no longer do.
When you’re the caregiver of someone there are a lot of things that you do to keep them safe and healthy that they may or may not understand why or what you are doing. Now you think about it. If you had a mental disease to the point where you did not know what was going on around you and somebody was doing things to you, for you, with you that you did not understand what they were doing or why they were doing it. How frustrating would that be for you?
I find it very frustrating trying to keep mom healthy and safe. When Mama doesn’t realize what’s going on. Mamas to the point where she can’t walk, so she has to be picked up and moved every place that she goes, no matter why he’s going. And at times you have to move her whether or not she’s ready to be moved. In those times you may get some reaction from the one that your caregiving for. That’s totally out of character for that particular person if they were in their right mind.
You may fix a big meal for dinner and they don’t want to eat. I find this very frustrating because I have taken all the time to fix the meal. More worrisome than that is the fact that if they don’t eat enough to stay healthy very long.
As you get older your body gives up some functionality. One of those functionalities of getting old is the fact that you no longer have the hearing that you once did. I understand that as you get older the part of the hearing that you lose are the high pitches. This makes perfect sense, because when Michael or I talked to mom, mom seems to be able to understand what we say, versus what the wife says. This I think is due to the fact that the wife has a higher pitch to her voice, then Michael where I do. This is frustrating, more so for the wife, because Mama can’t hear much at all from her. I’m finding it little frustrating myself, because a lot of times I end up repeating and repeating and repeating what I say as well.
Caregiving for someone is not always the thing that causes the frustration. I honestly believe the frustration is just a part of life. I was brought up that you didn’t stay out after midnight unless you were working. This is something that has stuck with me all through my life. I’m finding this very frustrating, because the boy doesn’t always want to come home before midnight. Some of the conversations I have with the wife. I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round and that’s also very frustrating. Getting interrupted doing things is also very frustrating. I don’t know about you but I’m also finding it very frustrating the way this country is headed. I find it very frustrating that you can’t say what you want to say anymore in his country without someone getting their feelings hurt. So you see, it’s not only caregiving for someone that adds the frustration to life, but other things as well.
I don’t have any real good solutions for the frustration that you may feel whether that be caregiving for someone or some the other situations of said in the above but what I have figured out is that if you just walk away for a time. The frustration seems to relax a bit, after giving it some time to work its way out. Taking time to be by yourself releases the frustration as well.