Episode # 62
This week’s show, I’ve called caregiver gone because I am the main caregiver and I’m going to be gone for almost 2 days. Although I’m going to be fairly close to home. I’m not going to be right here to take care of Mama.
With me not going to be home for 2 days that leaves Michael and Stephanie to take care of Mama and they do things differently than I do, and Mama’s not used to that. Mama is used to me mom is used to the way I do things. So I’m worried that the change may be a bit hard for Mama.
I have left the house for a couple of hours here in a couple of hours there. Leaving either Michael or Stephanie to take care of mom, since mamas gotten sick. I haven’t left her for 2 days. Every time I leave the house. I feel a little guilty because I’m the one that needs to be taking care mom. This will be the 1st time that I’ve gone off and left mom for any length of time and yes I do feel extremely guilty.
When Stephanie and I went to our support group for caregivers’ One of the things that they tried to push for was taking care of yourself 1st. It was said. If you don’t take care of yourself you not going to be able to take care of the one you’re caring for. That made perfect sense then and it makes perfect sense now. However, leaving for 2 days or leaving for any amount of significant time I feel very guilty, but I guess feeling guilty is just part of taking care of someone. You feel like you’re not doing your job. You feel like something’s going to happen to the one you’re caring for If you leave them for any amount of time.
Whether or not you’re taking care of someone, life goes on. There are things that happen. There are things that you want to do. There are things that you do that may or may not take you away from the one you’re caring for X amount of time. Some of the things that you want to do cost money it cost you to do some things. And you need to decide whether or not taking a break from caregiving is worth it.
DC pod Fest is this weekend and I decided to go. I’ve put the money out to go, but I still feel guilty even putting the money out to go to something where I‘ll learn something. I’ll meet new friends I’ll be able to see some friends from last year. It’s a year later, when mom’s a little worse, so the guilt a little stronger, but needing a break is even a stronger need.
It’ll be interesting to see how things go with me. Not being here. When I get back what kind of attitude, well I come back to. Will they want to stick around or will they want to leave for a few hours. Only time will answer this question. Only time will help Mama get used to other caregivers.